Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
please don't ironically join a cult
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