We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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