how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
