Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
