you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
