dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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