a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
