Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He shit in the fireplace
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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