6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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