Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
