dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
