as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was born a porn star she said
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize