You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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