I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
