The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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