my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All the doctor said was why
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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