so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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