I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
