if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
