Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize