I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
