It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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