i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
