I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
