i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
