Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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