What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
