You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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