Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he thought i was a dude.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
