called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
