and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
