I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
