wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
