My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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