They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
