If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
