I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The air taste purple.
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