Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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