the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
