No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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