Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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