sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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