Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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