Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
