fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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