She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
