fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
