they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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