Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you would pick up someone in the library
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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