im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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