Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
