Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
