hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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