What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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