At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
