I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize