bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
