He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
