STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
