I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
